Anansi Girl wrote this at 6:25 pm:
Jon Stewart made me do it.
That’s basically my excuse for shelling out 130 pesos to watch a movie which I knew in my heart, my gut and my head was going to be godawful. The fact that the trailer still repulsed me even though Angelina Jolie was in it was saying a lot, and I didn’t listen. Instead, I listened to someone who told me Jon Stewart said on The Daily Show that he liked the movie “Wanted”. I hadn’t seen that particular episode yet, having been out of town for the past several days, so I took her word for it. If there’s any dubious good that came out of this whole experience, it would be that at least 50% of us enjoyed the movie.
Now, one might say that it doesn’t matter that it’s a crap movie because the cast was full of some of our favorite actors — Angie, James McAvoy, Marc Warren (his appearance was a surprise and, just as when Anthony Stewart Head appeared in Sweeney Todd, we both squealed with joy), Morgan Freeman, the guy who played the cute German captain in Jackson’s King Kong (I have to learn his name soon, I can’t keep calling him CGC forever). The thing is, it annoys me even more that the cast was so great — because they should’ve fracking known better than to be in this project.
Now on to the main reason I hated the movie: every character in it was an asshole. Yes, every single one of them. That’s not a spoiler, it’s something you should figure out within the first twenty minutes of the movie. First of all, what kind of person joins a group of assassins without even asking whom he will be killing and why? Oh, McAvoy’s character Wesley ultimately does ask these questions, but only after he’s already been through a hard and bloody training, and he’s aiming gun at his first assignment. No wonder Wesley works in a job he hates — apparently he just wanders into situations and happily lets people tell him what to do. When he’s finally briefed on who gives the kill orders, it turns out to be a loom. Yes, a machine that weaves cloth. Apparently, it’s Fate (that’s a capital F) who tells them who needs killing, and she does it through a loom. And that’s what makes the whole lot of assassins a big bunch of spineless assholes — they can’t even take responsibility for the people they kill. Oh, no, they strut around like they’re the good guys because a voice from beyond tells them that killing is for the greater good. At least real-life suicide bombers who get their orders from God do us a small favor by dying with their victims.
I’m almost sure the special effects and action scenes were nice. I dunno, I couldn’t tell: I was too busy trying to keep my brain from bleeding.
Filed under: Stuff
Post a Comment 
